problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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