Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
