bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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