She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
