so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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