i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
