Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
