Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
