so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
