I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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