Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I love you. Go after that dick
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
