i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
