shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
