I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
