Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
