Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
