Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
