No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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