oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
