Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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