I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
