And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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