i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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