Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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