So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Randomize
