So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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