you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
