Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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