And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
