Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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