I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She bit a glass in half.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
