5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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