im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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