And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
