This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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