You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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