Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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