The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
