I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
