Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
How many fucks given?
0.12846
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
