I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
