Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
