I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
