Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
