You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize