Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
