how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
