Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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