If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
