Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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