What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
