your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
