You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
