and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
