I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Randomize
