Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
