We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
