Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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