ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
