She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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