"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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