Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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