So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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